Sitting in bed waiting for your call after dinner- whenever it may be.
So bored.
I realized that nothing is comparatively fun anymore. I realized that if anything were to ever happen to us, I'd sit in bed depressed coMpletely paralyzed.
Nothing interests me to do. Not even reading books. Not using the phone to call anyone else. Not going online. Not even reading books. Not even freaking reading books.
I'm such a mess without you. And this is just one day waiting for your call.
Sounds obsessive, needy, clingy. Perhaps so. But right now, I keep thinking about the physical pain that leaves me weak, drained of any energy, hurting, moaning and grunting, and an emotional rollercoaster that needs your love and affection more than ever.
I just need your soothing words that are able to calm my shaking nerves and bruised heart. I need your love that helps me get through the pain easier than thinking about regrets. Your love gets me through the doubts and regrets or remorse that could swell in me when I'm left alone and fragile to fall apart.
That's exactly why I need you... To save me from falling apart. My heart is just so fragile. I want to love you and not lose you. I don't want to lose you because I'm so consumed in sadness and loss so I depend on you to double the feeling of gain. Knowing I have a lifetime of your love keeeps me going through the dark excruciating nights of pain and tossing and turning.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
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